Traditions

Every year we go to Nit de Foc in the village - which creates great excitement, nerves and the allowance of almost-swearing. My youngest repeats the phrase as often as she can, delighting in the foc more than any other word.

For Nit de Foc literally means, night of fire in Mallorquin. A night when we dance with the devil and scream with fear and hysteria while the demons chase us, positively terrifying the kids to their core. There is zero regard for health and safety which is what I love, and upon only receiving a small burn this year, the temptation to get closer next year is great.

We have our own Nit de Foc tradition which entails eating a spicy chilli or curry with friends, as hot as it can be. Washed down with beers and anticipation as we head to the village and wait. Of course they never come on time. Walking past the car park we spot a few getting dressed, practising their inner devil, wearing grotesque masks and filthy clothes - they snarl as we walk by, us all giggling but the kids hanging on to my sleeves, just in case.

We are dressed in hoodies to protect ourselves from the sparks and the fire. We wear long trousers despite the heat of the day failing to disappear by night. And we wait.

We wait. They are late this year. The devils.

We laugh and socialise, the streets full of revellers, most knowing what to expect - a few with no idea what is about to happen.

The street lights all turn off suddenly, in one single switch. The crowd roar and the church is lit up in red. The drummers start beating wild, satanic rhythms and the devils arrive. And they run shouting, screaming in your face, brandishing fireworks and beacons. They spit fire and swirl in dances inviting anyone to join who may dare. The kids scream and hide as much as they are able, only to be found by a tiny female demon, revolting to look at and the feeder of nightmares - slowly seeking the children out and terrifying them towards weeks of no sleep. The street is woven in a complicated series of firecrackers and fireworks, whistling and screaming above us as the demons head through the village, rampaging on the way to the fiery pit of hell.

The church is blood red

There is nowhere to hide

I love these new traditions which are feeling comfortable and ours. I love parading the horses to the priest at Sant Antoni , I love waiting for the Three Kings at epiphany - collecting sweets and charcoal from the village floor, we adore San Juan - the beginning of summer - lighting candles, swimming away our sins and winter in the midnight sea.

Because now I feel Mallorca really is my home, as we embark on our fourth year of forever, these traditions - along with the ones I brought with me - are part of us now.

Swimming before breakfast

'Hasta la cuarenta de mayo, no se quita el sayo' 

Literally means don't take your coat off until the 40th May (10th June). He says it with a wry smile and wise look every year as we don our shorts too early. And he is always right. Although there are many hot days, beautiful days, sunshiny days - the real heat doesn't happen until the 10th of June. And from the 10th June he nods assertively, knowingly and says, 'Everyday, a little bit hotter' until we can stand it no more and we go and live in the sea.

Every year, with a flick of a switch around the middle of June, Mallorca becomes unbearable between the hours of 09:30 and 20:00. Even then the heat stays, melting us as we sleep and cooking us slowly to boiling point by day. The cats loll, the horses swish their tails and doze in cool stables and the guinea pigs lie on frozen gel pads covered in a tea towel - their little bodies panting and flopping like baked potatoes out of the oven. The plants wilt and only the strongest survive the sun's glare, the ones that are meant to be here - the rosemary and oleander, the olive trees and lantana.

Hiding from the sun, lying on ice packs wrapped in towels - 5* animals

And although I love Mallorca to the very core, it's my place in the world and my content - the next few months are a challenge. The heat, the relentlessness, the tourists, the busy beaches and no parking. The feeling of listlessness, the sweat, the lying in pants under the fan, the insanity, the wishing for rain and wondering when it will end - when it's only just started. The Mallorcan summer was my British winter.

Persuading ourselves to get into the car at 8 am, the temperature roaring and soaring as we drive to the little deserted cala (cove) - parking in the already packed car park, we hiked over the stone paths, avoiding the dog shit and listening to the cicadas screaming louder as the temperature climbed to unbearable levels despite the cloud and humidity. The walk was slow, the prize great. Below us a stony beach, no bigger than my garden with a few locals - and the glorious Mediterranean sea. We stripped, cleared away all the plastic and fag butts we could see - and dived into the cool waters. Only to be joined by two cormorants, hunting for their breakfast. We swam, we watched them dive and catch fish so skilfully and we whooped at their speed and confidence. They came close, seemingly unaware or bothered by our presence. The kids watched them under water, their agility as they spied their prey was unnerving. They bobbed up for breath, mushroomed along the surface, filled their bellies with tiny fish and swam to the other side of the bay. By then we decided to dry our salty skin and brave the walk back to the car - just in time for breakfast.

Swimming with cormorants