10 lessons in 10 weeks

1. Mallorca is a hot place. Really hot. No I mean absolutely stinkingly, searingly hot.

2. There is no use for the inside lane on a roundabout in Mallorca. If you use the inside lane there is a chance you may be on it forever as everyone else is in the outside lane - even if they are turning left. I am now an outside-lane driver too.

3. Google maps and google translate are rarely correct. It does not take 35 minutes to get to Magaluf. At 8 o'clock in the morning it takes 1 hour and 10 minutes. I now have a 1 hour and 45 minute school run - twice a day.

4. They say the beaches in Mallorca are better than the Caribbean - we have yet to test that theory as I have never seen so many tourists in my life. Not one inch of sand or one droplet of sea was spare this summer.

5. It is very hard not to drink alcohol to celebrate the sun going down. Or a good barbeque. Or because it is the weekend, or a week night. Beer tastes better in the sun and we are surrounded by vineyards.

6. Palma is the prettiest, cleanest, smartest and most manageable city I have come across - we are looking forward to getting to know it better.

7. Avocados, limes, lemons, almonds and olives all grow in Mallorca - and in my garden.

8. Administration in Mallorca is one confusing nightmare. I have the Spanish version of the MOT next week, I have no idea what to do and which papers to take.

9. Bread lasts one day. If you cut it up it lasts half an hour before it stales. Best eaten fresh and quick.

10. Life is life wherever you are. It follows you around, it's boring and mundane in parts, stressful and sad at other times. But one thing is certain - it is a nicer experience in the sun, with a little tapas, some friends and a beer. Mallorca is a very nice place indeed, I hope we stay for a very long time.