Bug

We arrived carrying a six-pack and a homemade coleslaw, standard offerings to a barbeque with friends - only to be greeted by excited kids who had found a bunch of tiny kittens behind the garden shed. I didn't want to look, I'm sure they're fine I said. But they were waiting for me to turn up with pity, time and deep pockets, to take this kitten under my ever expanding wing and nurse him back to health.

Welcome to our family Bug. 

He was emaciated and dehydrated, his eyes were stuck together and swollen with a mass of yellow gunk. One eye was so large it looked like it might explode. He smelt like that sweet and sickly smell of death. I syringed water into his minuscule mouth and encouraged him to eat some meaty gravy which he did with gusto. He hissed, he sneezed, he did not like being in the cat box and after the evening, he came home with me forever.

He mewed loudly at night, terrified to be in human company and away from the life he knew. I carried this palm-ful of kitten onto the sofa and placed him down my top, next to my heart. My breathing sent him to sleep and we passed the night gently before I could find kitten milk and the proper food the next day.

This tiny white ball of pink skin and sparse white hair ignited such maternal feelings, a physical sensation to protect and save this cat. A nurturing so intense that I knew he was going to make it.

Love, food and trip or 2 to the vets to remove his infected eye - he will be just fine

Freedom Phase 0

She jiggled her hips as she chose her fruit. The music quietly hummed through the supermarket to soothe us as we shopped, people were masked and alone - avoiding each other as we had been told to, but now it felt right not to be near strangers. She grooved her way down the potato aisle, towards the fish counter, still subtly swinging her tooshie from side to side.

"All we have to do now is take these lies
 And make them true somehow
 All we have to see is that I don't belong to you
 And you don't belong to me yeah yeah
 Freedom
 Freedom
 Freeeeeeedom..."

Her excitement was infectious and brought tears to my eyes, not for the first time this week. I joined in and sang out loud to the lyrics as I shopped for the family's food. Freedom has started. First the children were allowed out for an hour a day - and today the adults could exercise. The rules are complicated as to when we can leave the house, and who with, depending on where we live and how old we are. But freedom has definitely started.

The sun has begun to crank up it's heat, the wild flowers bob their delicate heads in the soft breeze, we notice the skin of a snake and a shouty partridge on our hours walk. We smell the clean pure air, watch our seedlings grow by the day and stumble across tortoises minding their own business.

And as freedom is so very close, I hope we can take forward the slowness and the mindfulness into our new normal.

Adventure

We squeezed in a great adventure before the lock down. A wild weekend so exciting, a true and rare thrill with very little regard for health or safety.

She's brave enough to ride fast with me these days. After many years of riding and falling off horses my eldest daughter is starting to fear less and enjoy the adrenaline associated with hard and fast gallops. We headed east on our Mediterranean island to a stables run by the original mallorquin cowboy for a night in a tepee, riding ex-racehorses and those who had been given a second chance. I worried about her being on that big and spirited gelding - a few hands taller than our naughty pony, Spot - but she looked good up there, comfortable and fully in control of her steed. I was so proud; these days like dreams as we galloped into the sunset, chips of stone flying and the clatter of metal shoes thundering in unison - past orange trees and barking dogs, past olive groves and newly born lambs. She had never been so fast, but I could see as she turned to me as we slowed, that adventure had lit up her very being. She had experienced utter freedom on a horse, the pure joy of galloping without fear, she sweetly patted him - thanking him for his grace and power.

We untacked the tired horses at our tent for the night, throwing the saddles on the ground and feeding the hungry animals once they had cooled. Early March being cold in Mallorca, we were so grateful to huddle around a quickly made fire, drinking wine out of plastic mugs and sharing stories of travel and the equines in our lives - into the early hours. She sat there with me, as I slowly inebriated myself along with the others, listening to our tales and poking the fire in a trance. We crawled into sleeping bags, all five of us as the horses wandered around grazing on sparse plants and grasses. Freezing, drunk and truly happy.

Awoken by hoopoes and partridges, after needed coffee and sticky pastries we were off again, in a crazy manner, back to where we had started. With views of the sea to the north, tantalising and glistening in the distance, promising summer swims and long days. With vibrant green buds on the twisted fig trees and blankets of spring flowers in the fields as we jig-jogged home. She asked when we could do it again, before it was even over.

Soon I said. Very Soon. Little did I know.

Day 13

I thought I'd write more. Make the most of this time, maybe learn Spanish fluently and start that book I've always promised myself. I envisaged some yoga, a try at meditation, experimenting with new recipes and really getting to know what I would like out of the rest of my life.

The truth is that this is no ordinary vacation from the everyday. There has been a lot of stress, worry and tension. My back aches from the lack of movement and my head aches from the whirring constant buzz of kids needing help with their schooling, with social media, with every ping of my phone, with needing to answer all texts to assure people we are alright - and to contact everyone I care about.

There have been sad days and tears. Feelings of being overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. The days when I haven't looked at the news but only to be told the numbers of suffering and death by others. There have been sunny, halcyon days with my animals only to be reminded of the severity of the situation when the Guardia Civil and Local Police stop me for my papers - enquiring to where I am going and threatening with huge fines and big guns. I have felt scared.

So it's no wonder I haven't written that novel. Or painted the kitchen. Or learnt my subjunctive verbs. It's enough just to get through the days, keeping everyone happy and alive. With a fair dose of Netflix and Facebook memes to transport us elsewhere. Oh and gin, plenty of gin.

Quarantine life

Lock down

We are in day 3 of lock down. Or day 4 depending when you count it from. Coronavirus has hit our island with force and we have been ordered to stay in. No socialising. No school. No work. No going out for any-reason-at-all except for food, the doctors or to walk your dog.

Oh how we laughed last week at the lone man in the supermarket wearing a mask. Oh how we chastised the parents who wouldn't let their children go to school. Oh how I giggled at people who bought latex gloves. And then we started not to kiss our friends on meeting. And then we cancelled social events. And then I went shopping and bought maybe a little bit extra for the week - not having a clue what would happen just the next day. And then we were ordered to stay in for 15 days.

My father was sent out on an emergency flight home. My kids can't come to see our horses as there is a one person/one car policy. There are police everywhere. The local supermarket workers wear masks, and gloves, and I wonder how they are doing their job. We are all scared. And a little bit delirious. And its only day 3, or 4 - depending when you count it from.

So here comes the blog again as I have fuck all else to do other than watch the news and look at Facebook.

There may be a few stories of times past to occupy my time and entertain yours. Because we will all go into lock down. You don't think it's coming to you, but it will.

Indoor exercise will be your friend

Summers end

Like clockwork, like groundhog day, the summer is switched off and the autumn begins. Today I awoke to black stormy clouds promising to break the long, scorching, dusty summer. The garden waits patiently for the first drops to fall. It's exciting, that first hesitation of the relentless heat, the animals sense it too.

Of course, this isn't the actual end of summer. We can expect days of glorious sunshine, plenty more beach trips and days by the pool. Today is just the first day to reflect on what has been, and what is about to come.

The ridiculously long holidays have gone by in a whirl of ice creams, siestas, bare feet and a re-watch of Friends. The guinea pigs have puffed, panted and lounged on their frozen gel packs. The cats flopped on the cool stone floors and hid in dark cupboards. The horses lay down in their stables by day after cold showers and a mountain of fly spray - they partied by night, charging around their fields eager to exercise their cooped up bodies.

The summer isn't all about the heat although it dominates the time like a bully, making everything difficult and slightly unpleasant. It's a time for holidays and family. Of days turning into weeks, weeks turning into months and boredom creeping in - slowly at first.

We are all ready for the change, the back to school, the structure, the rain and cosy nights in. We look forward to hot meals and exercising that post-summer belly. I really love the defined seasons of Mallorca, each one delightful  - with autumn being my favourite of all.

Traditions

Every year we go to Nit de Foc in the village - which creates great excitement, nerves and the allowance of almost-swearing. My youngest repeats the phrase as often as she can, delighting in the foc more than any other word.

For Nit de Foc literally means, night of fire in Mallorquin. A night when we dance with the devil and scream with fear and hysteria while the demons chase us, positively terrifying the kids to their core. There is zero regard for health and safety which is what I love, and upon only receiving a small burn this year, the temptation to get closer next year is great.

We have our own Nit de Foc tradition which entails eating a spicy chilli or curry with friends, as hot as it can be. Washed down with beers and anticipation as we head to the village and wait. Of course they never come on time. Walking past the car park we spot a few getting dressed, practising their inner devil, wearing grotesque masks and filthy clothes - they snarl as we walk by, us all giggling but the kids hanging on to my sleeves, just in case.

We are dressed in hoodies to protect ourselves from the sparks and the fire. We wear long trousers despite the heat of the day failing to disappear by night. And we wait.

We wait. They are late this year. The devils.

We laugh and socialise, the streets full of revellers, most knowing what to expect - a few with no idea what is about to happen.

The street lights all turn off suddenly, in one single switch. The crowd roar and the church is lit up in red. The drummers start beating wild, satanic rhythms and the devils arrive. And they run shouting, screaming in your face, brandishing fireworks and beacons. They spit fire and swirl in dances inviting anyone to join who may dare. The kids scream and hide as much as they are able, only to be found by a tiny female demon, revolting to look at and the feeder of nightmares - slowly seeking the children out and terrifying them towards weeks of no sleep. The street is woven in a complicated series of firecrackers and fireworks, whistling and screaming above us as the demons head through the village, rampaging on the way to the fiery pit of hell.

The church is blood red

There is nowhere to hide

I love these new traditions which are feeling comfortable and ours. I love parading the horses to the priest at Sant Antoni , I love waiting for the Three Kings at epiphany - collecting sweets and charcoal from the village floor, we adore San Juan - the beginning of summer - lighting candles, swimming away our sins and winter in the midnight sea.

Because now I feel Mallorca really is my home, as we embark on our fourth year of forever, these traditions - along with the ones I brought with me - are part of us now.